Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Beauty comes in all shapes & sizes. Small, large, circle, square, thin crust, thick crust, stuffed crust, extra toppings.
If I ignored you any harder, we`d be married.
Valentines day
You`ve really got to hand it to short people, because sometimes they often can`t reach it.
Mom: How are your grades this semester? Me:.... Mom:.... Me: Mother what`s important is that we have our health
If your pillow fort hasn’t got an armory filled with Nerf guns, then you’re not really taking pillow forting as seriously as you should be.
Would you be a deer and run out in front of my car for me?
I just used the self checkout in Walmart without needing assistance and they made me district manager.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Tonight`s weather forecast: dark. Continued dark overnight with widely scattered of light by morning.
I hear boomerangs are making a comeback.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
I want it all and I want it delivered.
Elderly people used to always nudge me at weddings and say "You`re next."What got them to stop is when............I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Okay restaurants. Enough with the clever bathroom signs. A simple M and F will do. Sincerely, drunk people.