😄 Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I tried to log in on my ipad. Turns out it was an Etch-a-Sketch and I don`t own an ipad. Also, I`m out of vodka.
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The bible says you can`t buy your way into heaven but there isn`t a church in the country that won`t encourage you to try.
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Trying to figure out why I joined the gym when I have Photoshop.
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I`m in hospital after eating what i thought was onions instead they were daffodil bulbs. Its ok doctors say i will be out in spring.
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#Redskins QB Robert Griffin III back after surgery to reconstruct the ACL and repair the LCL in his right knee. He`s now RG 3.2
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Always wonder why do people even bother making good quality pinatas?
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I wish we had staff meetings in the garden. The plants would`ve love the fertilizer.
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I`m considering buying a racehorse and naming it, "My Face". Just so I can hear everyone in the stands scream "Come on, My face!!"...
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The condoms need to be located in the baby aisle, next to the 30 dollar diapers and 20 dollar formula cans
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I have no problem admitting that you made a mistake.
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The woman that just drove past me was either doing a huge yawn or her brakes have failed....
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A party without Vodka is just a meeting.
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I was being taught to use some machinery today, and I was quizzed as to the rules of it`s use. When asked what the first rule is I responded, "You do not talk about Fight Club."
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Sometimes you run into people who just make your day more bearable. Those people are called bartenders.
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When setting the table, does the remote go to the left or the right of the dinner plate?
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