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I don`t know which is worse... waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom so you can use it or hearing them say "come in" when you knock on the bathroom door...
Not every flower can say love, but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus did. Not every dummy can read, but look at you go...
In terms of procrastination, I had a very productive day.
Miley Cyrus could never live in the kind of cold we`re having here. Can you imagine all the poles her tounge would get stuck to?
I use to be addicted to soap, but now I`m clean
Remember that there’s always someone cooler, smarter, stronger or sexier than you. That would be me.
There`s no life problem that a good "F*ck this shit" can`t solve.
Sometimes, I wonder if the weather app on my phone even looks outside.
Applebees is a word that starts off pretty tame but takes a dangerous twist
Secretly replaced the bacon with beggin` strips. Let`s see if the customers notice.
People really need to get with the times. Smartphones are not for talking anymore.
I miss my ex a lot... but my aim is getting better.
Ahh..Monday, so we meet again ... You dirty bitch!!
If we`re in a situation where I am the "voice of reason," then we are in a very very bad situation.