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If there is no chocolate in heaven...I AM NOT GOING!
Sorry that offended you, I really didn’t think you’d get it.
Why didn`t you tell me that I wasn`t going to like you
If you ever feel unattractive, just remember that you look like your ancestors and all of them got laid.
My Wife: Why are you home so early? Me: My boss told me to go to hell
If you don`t give a f*ck then why you telling everybody?
I am not looking for a one night stand, 2 hours will be plenty enough.
The best thing about humans is that many of the richest and most prosperous among us collect bottles of rotten grape juice.
I`d like to give a big shout-out to all my hard of hearing friends!
I`m done chasing people who aren`t willing to do the same for me. After today, the ice cream man can go f*ck himself!!
The mind is like a parachute .... It doesn`t work if it isn`t open.
When I asked if you had protection, pepper spray isn’t what I meant.
It could be worse. Spiders could have wings.
I prefer to think outside the box because things can get very dark inside it.