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You look over-medicated. What`s your doctor`s name?
So after an hour of playing Paper, Rock, Scissors, we decided to call it a tie. Good game, mirror!
Judge me if you will, just keep the verdict to yourself.
You can stay, but your clothes must go.
What if all this time it`s been Chicken that taste like Frog legs????
It`s tax season. Anyone have some spare kids?
"I wish people would start doing ice bucket challenges again" - said no one ever!
Oh well, this time isn`t going to procrastinate itself.
whoo hoo...I have new gutters. Please try and keep your mind out of them.
If you receive an e-mail that says: ``FREE JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT TICKETS`` Don`t open it! It may contain free Justin Bieber concert tickets.
Marriage. Because dodging your own family wasn`t enough.
Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens.
I would really like to help you move your furniture tomorrow but I’m going to be too busy sitting on mine
Really disappointed to find out after laser eye surgery I am unable to burn down buildings
I bet if we all threw our problems into a big pile, we’d see everyone else’s and scramble to get ours back.