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It must be really hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest because I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
In today`s world, the key to success is to delete your Whatsapp account!
Just vacuumed for the first time in a really long time and apparently I have hardwood floors?
Everyone wants you to "be honest" until you tell them how much they suck.
I maybe wrong but I doubt it.
I`m not lying, I`m just making the story better.
“Delete, Block, Ignore” Its too bad getting rid of people in life is not as easy as it is on Facebook..
Takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do ...
The best person to get thrown in jail with would have to be the Kool-Aid Man.
If you hold a 40oz bottle to your ear you can hear the ghetto.
After spending the last week stealing cars and killing people I just found out GTA had missions.
Mouth the word " vacuum" to a stranger & see what happens.
You can either be right, or you can be the husband.
I was going to buy my first pair of Jordans.. Until I saw the price.. So I decided to make a car payment instead!
Sometimes I wish my dog could talk…then I remember all the things he has seen me do when I’m alone.