😄 Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
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No, I would not like to know what fruit my body is shaped like.
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Halloween always exposes my weakness for Milk Duds, I am powerless. Tomorrow I will attend MDA, Milk Duds Anonymous
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The hardest thing about looking for work is the sobriety.
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Before meeting a hot chick, wish I could talk to the dude who`s sick of her bullsh!t.
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I stamp my hand on Saturday morning so it looks like I went out on Friday night.
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I was in a bar when a girl called me a cheapskate. So I threw her drink in her face.
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That awkward moment when a homeless person walks up to you at a Coinstar machine.
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Yes Officer, I carry a knife, but that`s just in case I find a cake.
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Dear YouTube, I will always “Skip this ad.”
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If I`ve learned anything about picking up woman at the super market it`s to stay away from those in the tampon isle.
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SNAUGHLING: Laughing so hard you snort, then laugh because you snorted, then snort because you laughed.
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Accidentally missed the freeway exit for home, now I`m heading north to start a new life.
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Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole
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Anyone else pretend to work all day while thinking about big boobs instead?
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