Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sticks and stones may break your bones. Also good: lead pipes.
I swear I just go to the strip club for the music.
Maybe cologne should come with a two sprays a day lock on it.
Me:"I had a dream about you." Girlfriend:"Awwwwww." Me:"Yeah, you died."
"You go girl" - asking my girlfriend to move out, but sassy like
Roses are red! violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Snot.
Dating someone based only on looks is so shallow. Consider other things, like, do they have a lot of money.
1: Say "Unh! 2: Mumble three spanish words. 3: list four cities. You just made a Pitbull song.
The difference between beer and your opinion is that I asked for a beer.
I`ll be drinking tell I see Leprechauns tonight.
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of reasons why I drink in the first place?
Apparently “cheesecake & tacos” wasn’t the answer the interviewer was looking for when he asked me what my weaknesses are.
2011: Come at me bro! 1800`s: Advance towards me brethren!
Porn is a lot like yoga pants. Not everybody should be in them.
In Canada, she`s Kilometery Cyrus.