😄 Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Anyone who says "Let`s all put our phones down and talk with each other," is just running out of battery and needs a charge.
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People who don`t know what they want should not use the drive thru!
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I suffer from paranoid-schizophrenic indifference. I really don`t care what the voices in my head are saying behind my back.
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Separating the men from the boys, one mood swing at a time.
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Spicy food is like BDSM for your mouth
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Warning!! Today I will be coloring OUTSIDE the lines..
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If you really loved your kids, you would teach them to say their alphabet forwards AND backwards. They`ll thank you later.
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On your deathbed tell everyone "pray for me" then make sure to leave a note to be opened after you die that says "pray harder next time."
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Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an I-pad
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I don`t trust stairs. They always look like they`re up to something.
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If history repeats itself then I am SO getting a dinosaur.
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I wish that we lived in a world where a chicken could cross the road without getting its motives questioned.
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Haters can hate all they want... they don`t affect my money.
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what do you mean booze ain`t food!?
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Are walruses just vampire manatees?
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