Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hey movie villains - make a bomb where the wires are all one color.
Never do I feel as lazy and rude as when someone else in the room is vacuuming.
It`s annoying how when you go to the orchestra, there`s always that one wasted dude up front swaying and waving his arms around the whole time
I think that there are two things that we can all agree on: Boobs.
Laziness: the habit of resting before you get tired.
Do you ever wonder how many people’s dreams you have been in?
What flickering lights mean: 1% electrical problems. 99% demons.
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"
Long time ago I used to be young and handsome.. Today? Just handsome
I can`t believe people used to have to paint selfies.
May your neighbors respect you, troubles neglect you, angels protect you and heaven accept you.
If you had to choose between your significant other and a million dollars, what`s the first thing you`d buy?
Either I wrote a bunch of drunken Facebook status updates last night, or my dog has finally figured out the computer.
Fitness? More like, fitness whole pizza in my mouth.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to text you a graphic description of my explosive diarrhea. Stupid autocorrect.