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I support recycling, I wore this shirt yesterday.
Keep the dream alive......... Hit the snooze button.
They say that nobody is perfect, then they say that practice makes perfect. I wish they`d make up their mind
Know the rules well so you can break them effectively.
This is why my kids dont take me places anymore ... Waitress: “Do u have any questions about the menu?” Me: ” Yes, What kind of font is this?”
I’m going to the gym because I heard they have free weights. I wonder how many they’ll let me take?
How come there`s never enough dirt to refill the hole even after you`ve put the body in? Asking for a friend
A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!
According to maxipad commercials, all women are full of blue windshield washer fluid...
It`s funny how my car drives slower on the way to work, than when I`m on my way home.
I`m saving all my good posts for when I can think of some.
Whenever I see a woman breastfeeding in public, my first reaction is to get in line.
One man`s LOL is another man`s WTF
When someone tells you they`re playing a STD game... But you later realise they were talking about Spot The Difference.
The important thing to remember is that nobody asked you.