😄 Daily Silly Status
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Behind every man there is a woman wondering if going to jail for murder is as bad as it sounds.
I`m a really nice guy before you get to know me.
I swear, watching people at a 4-way stop sign is like watching ‘Night at the Roxbury.’ “Him? Me? Oh Me? Me or Him?”
A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind
The best things in life require no pants.
I can’t wait until I get that job at Starbucks because I’m going to spell everyone’s name wrong so they can’t instagram their cups.
Who let the owls out?? Don`t sing the chorus you`ll make it worse.
Why do bras and batteries come in the same sizes?
If I didn`t procrastinate, I probably wouldn`t do anything at all.
I went to McDonalds, put 5 dollars on the counter and said "Surprise me". Because I never get what I ask for anyway!
Is snaxting a thing? Texting each other pics of your snacks? Cause I feel like I’d be pretty good at that.
For some people, a new year means a new chance to f*ck it up all over again.
Day 1-365: I am thankful for Veterans.
Hangman was my favorite childhood learning game that promoted hanging someone for a wrong answer.
Friends don’t let friends twerk.