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I`m not sure what post it was that caused me to lose 2 more Facebook friends today, but if I find out which one it was I will make sure to post it again....
I’m not here to judge, I’m just pointing out all the mistakes you’re making.
This bank pen tastes like it`s been in a lot of other people`s mouths
Neighbor just yelled at me for playing in his sprinkler. Note to self, I should wear clothes next time.
That Awkward Moment when you Greet you Brother on some random website. Brett to Daniel. sup Lerch!
Fun thing to do: Go to a parking lot and put sticky notes on peoples cars saying "sorry for the damage" and watch them look for it
Thinking about moving to Alabama just so I don’t have to scroll through all those other states when I sign up for websites.
Someday we’ll look back on all this and pretend not to remember it.
Kleptomaniacs always take things literally.
If there were "Box Tops for Education" on cases of beer, my kid`s school would be rich.
If these people don’t start giving better advice, I’m no longer going to allow them in my head.
My kids constantly yell at me whenever I try take their pictures, and I tell `em: "You`re gonna need them in 20 years for your Throw Back Thursdays updates"..... whatever!!
If you have to guess what a commercial is selling, it`s always perfume.
No means no! Unless she`s dyslexic; then it`s on!
It takes about 2.9 seconds for me to go from “this is the best day ever” to “I want to stab every person on planet Earth.”