😄 Daily Silly Status
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Pizza is my favorite winter activity
I hate when a couple argues in public but I missed the start and don`t know whose side I`m on.
My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes.
Ironically, Internet was made to save our time.
Whenever I open my fridge, my dog looks at me with a puzzled look and he thinks: Why don’t you eat all the food?
Not to brag but my new mistress is a lingerie model. OK, fine. A mannequin. But she doesn`t talk much and I like that.
Happy St. Patrick`s Day to the fool that gave up alcohol for Lent.
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? You were driving 80 miles an hour. Driver: "No way; I ain`t even been on the road an hour."
I overheard this guy bragging about his fancy hotel sweet. Ptttsht. They are nothing but cheap a$$ mints!
I don`t work that hard, I just make everything look way more difficulat than it is...
The doctor said I should be drinking more whiskey. Also, I’m calling myself “the doctor” now.
I try not to laugh at my own jokes. But we all know I`m hilarious.
WARNING::World Health Organization says radiation from cell phones may cause cancer. Please text everyone you know about this.
Don`t ask me what I did today, neither of us want to hear it out loud.