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I like to finish all of my drive thru orders with, "And that`s for here."
WEB MD should have a simple answer like “Calm down-you probably just ate too many cookies!”
Calling your girlfriend by her Moms name during a fight is a great way to escalate the situation.
I realized I eat too much fast food so I decided I would start cooking for myself. Does anyone here know how to "mcnugget" a chicken?
Not to brag, but I don’t need to smoke pot to get the munchies.
When I was your age, we drank water straight out of the sink.
Shout out to the post office for delivering my recycling to me every day.
When you are dead, you don’t know you are dead but other people do. The same applies when you are stupid.
Facebook is like my fridge… I know there is nothing there but I check it every 10 minutes anyways.
Mac & Cheese doesn`t contain many vitamins, so it`s important you always eat a bunch of it.
This strip mall certainly is misleading And I probably should put my clothes back on now.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?”
The parents with the ugliest babies take and post the most pictures.
Sorry, Sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours
Trying to understand some people is like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end.