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A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
You say `pervert with a telescope` ... I say `biological astronomer`.
Thanks to whoever made electrical outlets look like tiny screaming faces trapped inside my walls I can`t make eye contact.
Reasons to get out of bed: Food.
I don`t believe women belong in the kitchen... because men are better at that too
Playing Frisbee with a five year old is amazingly similar to just running after a Frisbee.
Puttin the `eff it` in efficient today.
Handle every stressful situation like a Dog.....Pee on it and walk away.
Few things are creepier than someone saying "I know" after you introduce yourself.
If electricity comes from electrons… does that mean that morality comes from morons?
Nothing screams "I don`t care about being on time for work" like hopping on Facebook first thing in the morning.
I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn`t do anything except send me notices that there`s a new version of itself.
I wouldn`t say I`m a stalker so much as I am a covert observation enthusiast.
They say children are a gift from god. I`m totally wide-open to regifting.
You had me at 0 mutual friends