😄 Daily Silly Status
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Sorry I stopped listening to your story when it wasn’t about me
Must you really ask why I have my selfie on top of my Christmas tree?
Is it safe to take off my Winter Solstice Glasses yet?
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I’m right.
If you use more toilet paper to wipe the tears out of your eyes then wip your bum in the morning...the food was too hot the night before
Every time I think I finally have the life I always dreamed of....I wake up.
Plot twist: WebMD says you`re just thirsty
If only mosquitoes sucked fat, instead of blood.
You know it`s a really good bar when there`s a couple outside breaking up.
Nice try salad bars, there`s only one kinda bar I plan on attending.
I`m starting to think I overuse exclamation points. It ends today. Right now. I`ll never ever use one again. I`m so excited about it. Yes.
All of my plans for the future start out with “when I get rich”
Back before Walmart, you used to have to buy a ticket to see a bearded woman.
“Have you tried just eating a ton of pizza?”- me as a therapist
People who weigh their produce. What`s it like to have all the time in the world?