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Instead of torturing people for getting information, why don’t they just get them really drunk?
Have you noticed that tire stores never hang big banners that say "Blowout Sale"?
Sadly, I don`t think anyone has Wang Chunged once tonight... :(
Father: Earlier you used to call me papa but now dad, why? Daughter: Come on dad, calling you PAPA spoiles my lipstick.
Exercise would be so much more rewarding if calories screamed while you burn them.
Yesterday was international ninja day and I didn`t even know. Well played ninja day, well played.
Hi, we`re a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can`t ever find our dog.
I got a lot more sleep back when phones were only used for calling people.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don`t have to be nice anymore.
Relationship Status: eating
If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and looks like a duck then it could be a dragon doing a duck impersonation.
This goes out to the person who thought of the idea to put stickers on each and every piece of fruit. "Nobody like`s your idea"
Save water- shower with me!
I like to walk up to strangers and ask, "Would you take a photo of me?" If they say yes I hand them a photo of me and walk away.
I have a drinking problem. When I tilt my head back to take a drink, I can’t see my computer screen.