Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
everybody has a girlfriend or boyfriend, and i`m just over here like `i love food`.
that moment when autocorrect decides to ruin you and makes a text incredibly awkward.
How did human beings express empathy before the phrase "that sucks" was coined?
People say "Happy Thanksgiving" which is nice, but then they ruin it by saying "Don`t eat too much". Do they want me to have a Happy Thanksgiving or not?
Bitch I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
Shout out to the new couples still holding in farts.
I don`t plan anything as well as I plan which alcoholic beverage I`m going to consume once I leave work.
I Don’t answer text messages right when I get them so I don’t seem desperate. Then, I forget about them and never respond.
B!tch, I will slap you by accident on purpose.
I’m starting to think we as a society may be trying to do too much with the Dorito.
I really just need a vodka cranberry and a slap on the a$$. Hold the cranberry.
I hate it when I`m trying to take a selfie and somebody calls my camera.
I`ve come to the point where I don`t even procrastinate anymore ... I just don`t do it.
I don`t hate you, but I hope you fall in love and get married.
All I want is a little more than I’ll ever get.