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Karma is like a rubber-band: it can only stretch so far before it comes back and smacks you in the face.
How am I supposed to make great life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next?
You call it "Blacking Out" I call it a "Surprise Nap"
Gimmie a P. Gimmie an R. Gimmie an O. Gimmie a C. Gimmie an R. Gimmie an A. Gimmie an S. Gimmie a....oh, nevermind. I`ll finish this later.
If anybody tells you you’re putting too much Parmesan on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don’t need that negativity in your life.
Describe myself in three words ... 1. Lazy
WikiHow suggested 9 Ways to Celebrate Earth Day.... I did all by ?#? SLEEPING?the whole day! How???? I smoked less, used water/power less etc. Wikiwikiwiki!!!!!
I feel like Frosted Flakes gives kids an unreasonable expectation of how friendly tigers are when you try to feed them a bowl of cereal.
Plot twist: WebMD says you`re just thirsty
I liked you better before we met.
I have decided to stop exercising and just learn Photoshop.
I thought about exercising all day long. I am so exhausted.
I want to live in a world where the Food Network delivers.
Does the Lego movie come with a disclaimer "Some assembly required"?
Would the 2 Sonic dudes just get it over with and kiss already