😄 Daily Silly Status
Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When the zombie apocalypse hits, I know EXACTLY who I`m tripping first...
It`s pretty stupid the way mornings have to come every morning.
McDonald’s steps 1) Get really excited about it 2) Eat it 3) Regret eating it 4) Wish you were dead 5) Repeat in a few months
"Probiotic" sounds a lot better than "bacteria infested"
I hate wasting alcohol on social occasions.
Is it weird to get naked during a massage? At what point can I ask the masseuse to put his pants back on?
Parallel park, like nobody’s laughing.
Career goal: Being successful enough to add bacon to my burger without asking how much more it costs.
My religious preference, is for you to steer clear of me with yours.
I love when bill collectors ask if you can borrow the money...uh I did that before and I think we both know how that turned out.
Chess says everything about men and women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
Whatever it is ... I didn´t do it!
Everything is a boomerang if you throw it upwards.
5 symptoms of laziness –> 1.
President Donald Trump will sign an executive order tomorrow to bring back Pluto as a planet. Make the universe GREAT again.