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Sarcasm: because snapping a neck is frowned upon in a court of law.
I`m not much on seizing the day, I just kinda poke it with a stick.
The most amazing thing about the internet is how it allows you, with the click of a few buttons, to do absolutely nothing with your life.
Test drove a Jaguar today. Very fast but the ride was pretty bumpy and the saddle kept falling off. I also think he tried to bite me.
I sure do feel a lot more attractive at Walmart than I do at the gym.
Fast way to mess up someones Knock Knock joke? "It`s open."
Try Zumba, It`s awesome ... on my way to the emergency room.
The only trouble with resisting temptation is that you may not get another chance...
A young man gets sent to jail,and gets put into a jail cell with a convict the size of the Incredible Hulk. After lights out, he hears a whisper from the top bunk."Let`s play Mommy and Daddy. Who do you wanna be?" Thinking quick, the man says "daddy." "Then come up here and suck Mommy`s d!ck."
I guess I need to buy some new drink coasters because I finally ran out of AOL free trial CDs.
Doing some caroling! All by myself. In people`s backyards. In the bushes. Very little singing. Mostly watching.
Can you imagine if Facebook and Twitter just decided to shut down and you see all these confused people coming out of their house squinting at the sun.
Notice how writers don’t rewrite books, how about we stop remaking movies.
No, I CAN’T believe how early it’s getting dark. After 4 billion years of this happening I was sure this would be the year it didn’t.
I read that India launched a rocket to Mars the other day. That seems like a strange place to put a call center?