😄 Daily Silly Status
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My level of sarcasm is to the point where I don`t even know if I`m kidding or not.
I swear that logging in to Facebook has become the equivalent of opening the fridge door and staring inside even though you`re not hungry.
If I was rich, I`d do nothing all day from a much nicer couch
I`m an outdoorsy kind of guy, I like to drink beer outdoors
The key to any successful marriage is separate TVs.
Strangers are like birds. If you run at them screaming and waving your arms they will run away.
I checked into a hotel this weekend. I told the girl I hoped the porn channel was disabled. She said "No, its just regular porn, you sicko"
If no one comes from the future to stop you, than how bad of a decision can it really be.
You know it’s going to be a bad day when your horoscope starts with… “Are you sitting down?”
whenever I take my clothes off the shower usually gets turned on
?"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Dyslexic Santa
One time I was in a bar and there was this really weird guy pouring booze all over his hand. Turned out he was trying to get his date drunk
If you still can read this, please inform me ASAP because I have probably blocked the wrong person!
If I ever get arrested I am going to ask for a status update instead of a phone call.
Can you make garlic bread out of frozen waffles? Asking for someone who wishes they had remembered garlic bread at the store.