😄 Daily Silly Status
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If you live in a custom-built house that doesn’t have a secret room hidden behind a fake bookcase, then seriously what is the point?
My Memory.....The Second shortest thing I have.
If you want your wife or girlfriend to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Dear American Express, can you raise my debt ceiling?? Thx, bro.
Those Box Tops that raise money for schools really should be on wine labels and cases of beer.
I`m celebrating 1 year of sobriety today ... I think it was 1989 ... Cheers!
My coworkers and I do this fun thing where they say `It`s so cold out!` and I say `It`s winter` and then we silently hate each other.
I will be good today... I will be good today... I will be good today... Yeah.... I didn`t believe it either..
Girls with tattoos on your tits, Why? We`re already looking at them.
Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
According to WebMD, MedicineNet, Healthline, Mayo Clinic, Symptom Checker, NetDoctor, MedlinePlus, Johns Hopkins and InfoMedNet, I`m OCD.
I would`ve thrown a coin in the water fountain and wished for all the money in it, but I just waited `til it was dark instead.
Never make an arm wrestle bet with a man who has been single for longer than 6 months.
What if Justin Bieber is also Miley Cyrus? I mean have you ever seen them in one place at the same time?
My dance moves are somewhere between “dog being shocked by an electric fence” and “squirrel crossing the road.”