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The awkward moment when you’re running and your boobs are bouncing …. and you’re a guy.
Just used the "f word" over on FB so I`m waiting for the villagers with their torches, axes, whatever those people use.
I wish some people`s cardio exercise consisted of running into traffic.
I’d like to see the dollar store get a liquor license.
Woke up this morning, looked in the mirror & said out loud, "You gotta bring it today!" ... So I packed a lunch and went to work.
the difference between people and celebreties ...... celebreties don`t have a routine
One day, I`m gonna wait for the Wal-Mart greeter to go on a bathroom break, step in their place, and begin welcoming everyone to K-mart.
Live life to its fullest even if that means eating everything in the fridge
I just want you all to know, whatever problems you might be having, I`m here to `like` them.
In a perfect world Taco Bell would deliver...
You`ve been on more hotel pillows then chocolate mints.
I finally found a machine at the gym I like: the vending machine!
Life is like a box of chocolates. They never last as long for fat people.
My coworkers will stand around confused during a fire drill but the office turns into the Hunger Games when there`s lunch brought in for everyone
You know you are meant to be when you high five after sex.