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When I die I want my body donated to science; specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead people back to life
Why is it that the more annoying the tune, the harder it is to get it out of your head?
When pornstars get up to speak in front of a large group, do they picture people with their clothes on?
Akward Moment Is When Your Twin Sister Calls You Ugly(:
When someone ask me... How are you?... I answer back... You mean in bed?
Crazy? ... My therapist does say I should quit talking to myself.
Was disappointed when I watched the films Shaft, XXX, X-Men, In To Deep, Snatch, The Box, Free Willy. None of them were what I expected...
Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
Imagine Ferris Bueller trying so hard not to Instagram his whole day off.
I haven`t crunched all the numbers, but early calculations show that a large percentage of people don`t care what you think.
Don`t wait until you`re on your deathbed to tell people how you really feel because you could be too weak to raise your middle finger.
Between the coffee and the cocaine, it looks like the mission of Colombia is to wake up the world.
is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep
So... Where does one obtain minions?
Never marry a tennis player " love means nothing to them "