Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Have you heard about the new movie called constipation? It hasn`t come out yet.
They should make a medal for anyone who uses an entire tube of chapstick without losing it.
Remember kids, the Toys R Us bankruptcy and liquidation teaches us that poor spelling and grammar will always catch up with you eventually.
I`m so broke that I can`t even pay attention!
I`m not sure it`s possible to fill a moving truck these days without the word "Tetris" being brought into the conversation.
Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the coffee and went straight for the booze?
The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses...
Fingerprints are proof that God doesn`t trust us
A real friend is someone who knows how damn crazy you are... But is still willing to be seen out in public with you.
You actually are not the stupidest person on the planet. But if he were to die...
If I was antisocial I wouldn`t have just ordered a pizza over the phone.
Imagine if trees gave off WiFi signals, We would be planting so many trees. And we`d probably save the planet too! Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breath :/
Apparently the ``All you can eat buffet`` isn`t a challenge ...
So red or white wine with hamburger helper?
Cactuses are just heavily armed cucumbers.