😄 Daily Silly Status
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People who try to test my patience don`t realize it`s an exam I don`t plan on passing
The more neighbors I spy on through my binoculars, the creepier I think all my neighbors are!
If I had a nickel for everytime I told myself I`d quit smoking, I could buy a lot more cigarettes
Warning!! Today I will be coloring OUTSIDE the lines..
If any of you ever want your kitchen painted orange just give a six year old Cheetos for lunch and tell them not to make a mess. Works every time.
My life is a result of "it seemed like a good idea at the time."
My Dr said I am a sex addict. I ask him how he knew and he said you are a man.
I live in constant fear that someone will kidnap my mother in law who lives all alone at 48 W Main St, bldg C, Apt 32 on the 3rd floor.
The self-driving car should have an "I`m Feeling Lucky" button that drives you to a random location.
All a girl wants is a guy that can make her laugh ... and not just when he drops his pants.
A secret is what you tell everyone not to tell anyone else.
What did I get for Christmas? Fat...
How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
Now that cell phones are becoming more and more waterproof, pretty soon it will be okay to push people into pools again...
Common sense has become so rare it should be classified as a superpower.