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If you bend over and place your ear next to a girls vagina , you can clearly hear her say "WTF are you Doing!"
You can`t buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream, and that`s kind of the same thing.
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining
No one knows what women really want, but everyone agrees it still won`t be enough.
That weird moment when u just say "what`s up " to someone and they thing you`re a shrink.
Of all the grotesque sounds coming from the bathroom stall next to me, the camera click was the most disturbing!!
Just think about all the stuff you aren`t thinking about.
I get very nervous out when my Subway sandwich moves up the crowded assembly line without me.
If a woman asks if you "notice anything new" tell her "I do, your beauty surprises me every day." Then continue thinking about velociraptors
My friends were alway so nice. They were like "of course you`re not fat! Come on, grab two chairs and sit with us" :)
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I`m still looking.
Morning comes in 3 sizes: 1) Early. 2) Too early. 3) Way too early
Grown up pandas eat for 12 hours a day. In related news, it turns out Iām not fat. Iām a panda.
If you cannot FACE your problem, then the problem is your FACE.
All I need to know about you is defined by whether you ask for a cup or a cone when ordering ice cream.