😄 Daily Silly Status
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Parents, forget about teaching your kids about the birds and the bees. Teach your kids the difference between their, they`re and there.
Bought some cheese at one of those fancy cheese shops today. It was legend dairy...
I wonder how seaworld would react if I walked in there with a fishing pole....
I stayed at a really nice, really fancy hotel this weekend. The towels were so thick I could hardly get my suitcase shut.
If every porkshop was perfect, we wouldn`t have hot dogs.
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again, if you drive a Nissan but don`t call it Liam then what is even the point of you
You can`t fix stupid, but you can always drink more beer.
Just seen a homeless dude with a sign that said “too ugly to prostitute”
There`s a word for people like you and that word is "leave."
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody is there to appreciate it.
I was fired from my job at the sperm bank for saying "get a load of this guy" every time someone walked in
Sweat pants & Uggs in public says "and I didn`t brush my teeth, either."
I can`t believe people used to have to paint selfies.
If you have to tell us that you`ve been going to the gym, you probably need to go more often....
I asked my girlfriend why she never tells me when she orgasms. She said she doesn`t like phoning me at work.