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Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.
is "insert clever remark here."
The next time there`s an awkward silence, try whispering, "Did you forget your line?"
Find a penny pick it up and all day long you`ll have good luck. Or some kind of virus because pennies are dirty and gross.
Scientists have recently discovered that approximately 2% of Earth`s water at any given time is found on Tupperware containers being removed from the dishwasher
When the hostess at the restaurant says “table for 2?” I always like to look surprised and whisper “you can see her too?”
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
lifes like a box of chocolates, never know whatcha gonna get (:
My leadership experience is pretty much limited to those three consecutive days in first grade when I was line leader.
Where have you been all my life? Can you go back there?
I fell asleep with infomercials playing on the TV.... I woke up with a strange desire to do P90X with a Shake Weight while in my Snuggie
"Omg. Why does this store have so many naked pictures of me?"... "Sir those are mirrors, and we`re gonna have to ask you to leave."
Just saw a homeless dude with a sign reading "Hungry Hungry Hobo"... I shouldn`t laugh right?
LSD makes users lose weight ... That makes sense. It`s kinda hard to get to the fridge when there`s a dragon guarding it.