Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
In Store Special - "You`re My One and Only" Valentine`s Day cards... 4 for $5...
I have been snoring a lot lately and apparently my coworkers find it distracting
Hummingbirds are just regular birds that can`t remember the lyrics.
I hope we`re friends until we die and then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the sh!t out of people.
A true man is one who leaves his wife alone in cold weather and goes to watch football.
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries".
I’m hopelessly addicted to placebos ..I’d give them up, but it’d make no difference.
I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don`t know how much I want. They don`t know my life. They don`t know what I`ve been through.
If opposites truly attract, the correct life strategy is to be a complete loser.
Is it just me, or is Fantasy Football basically Dungeons & Dragons for jocks?
If there wasn’t such thing as a last minute I’d never get anything done.
Eventually, the entire written English language will be taken over by emoticons. Teenage girls will bring us back to Egyptian hieroglyphics.
Does this couch I’m laying on make me look unmotivated?
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then.
Just because I don’t like you doesn’t mean I don’t want you to like me.- Most Girls