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There`s nothing as wonderful as waking up in the morning next to a gorgeous smiling face. So I keep a mirror next to my bed.
Remember when we thought it would be fun to grow up and have jobs? LOL
To be fair, if I had a friend who could turn water into wine - Iād worship him too.
I remember my single days like it was 11 years, 1 month, and 12 days ago.
No matter how much you push the envelope - it`ll still be stationery.
Being an adult is basically a "choose your own adventure" book, but every choice sounds terrible.
Hope you don`t mind if I make transformer sound effects when we switch positions.
I can`t afford a therapist so i bought a mood ring
My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel when crossing the street.
I`ve never been a fan of multi-tasking or quite frankly regular tasking.
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
"There`s more than one way to skin a cat." -Chinese restaurant proverb
People be like: "Awe baby you make me so happy." But the second you break up they be like, "finally happy."
A recent study has found that woman who carry little extra weight live longer then the man who mention it
When I finish eating something I have to show my hands to the dog like I`m a blackjack dealer...