šŸ˜„ Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

How come the energizer bunny beats a drum instead of doing something like working the cashier register at Wal-Mart?
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I didn`t get a chance to do yoga this morning or any other morning of my life.
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Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
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A beautiful woman could post "My dog just died" and she would get replies like "Well, I`m not dead ;)"
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I can`t wait for a empty Christmas wrapping paper tube to bonk someone over the head with!
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Dear person reading this, I could be naked right now and you would never know.
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I have cat-like reflexes. If I hear a loud noise, I keep napping.
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I wonder if Sallys parents were like "Yeah great idea Sally. Sell seashells. On the seashore. Where there are tons of free shells. Idiot."
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Right now, a future teen mom is applying copious amounts of body glitter to herself.
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Forget resolutions, Imma just say from now on... TGIS "Thank God I Survived" ! :)
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When I started out, I was young and idealistic, I wanted a Career and to make a difference in the World, but it turned out that I only wanted Paychecks........
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Like if you remember the correlation between a pencil and a cassette tape ...
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I found that 99% of the time, when I`m not listening, just saying "that`s some bullshi*t" makes them happy.
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I’m jealous of a book character for having sex with another character but sure come ask my advice about your marriage.
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If one door closes and another one opens, seek help your house is haunted.
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