Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I was thinking about selling my old phone but I think it knows too much.
There`s never been a lazier group of people than the ones that settled on naming a candy bar "Whatchamacallit."
After committing a crime, always carry a fire extinguisher. No one gets stopped while running with a fire extinguisher.
The best things in life can`t be seen or touched. At least, that`s what the restraining order says.
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets
No one`s going to do it for you. It`s up to you, to make naps a priority in your life.
That awkward moment when a comment gets more “likes” than your status.
When I was a kid... No wait. I still do that.
Every time I get a paper cut, I know somewhere a tree is laughing.
Can I tell you how terribly grateful I am that no one had cell phones, iPads or digital cameras when I had to squaredance in P.E.
According to serving sizes tonight, I`m a family of 4.
Depresso; the feeling you get when you`ve run out of coffee.
You`re really cute, can I suck the life out of you? - women
I`ve been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants. Feefiphobia.
Instead of spending $2,000 on a purse, some of you ladies should use the money for therapy sessions.