😄 Daily Silly Status
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I’m going to start telling women that I’m available for a limited time only in hopes that their shopping instinct kicks in.
If you didn`t hear it with your own ears or see it with you own eyes. Don`t invent it with your small mind, and share it with your big mouth.
Next time a stranger talks to me when I`m alone, I will look at them shocked and whisper quietly...."You can see me???"
Sunglasses allow you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like facebook in real life.
Sometimes I feel moderately intelligent. Other times I have to sing the "ABCs" in my head to remember which letter comes next.
You tell me I`m crazy, the voices tell me I`m not. 4 against 1, so........
"Wow, that Hungry Man TV dinner sure lives up to its name!" said no hungry man ever.
So I was thinking... since the kids get the Easter bunny, why shouldn`t I expect a visit from a Playboy bunny today?
If I look tired at the end of the day, it`s because I just spent eight solid hours looking busy.
North Korea no!, really, go home! now you are really drunk!
That awkward moment when you imagine your own funeral...
Cigarettes have warning labels because they are dangerous and addictive yet vaginas are allowed to just roam around freely.
I`d like to thank the bars for being there for me.
That awkward moment when you are killing it on Mario Kart & then realize you are looking at the wrong side of the screen.
The problem with money is too much of it belongs to people who aren’t me.