😄 Daily Silly Status
Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You say `pervert with a telescope` ... I say `biological astronomer`.
I`m so hungry I could Instagram a horse.
Christmas came early this year! My neighbor just upgraded our internet speed... I mean his internet speed. Or whatever...
My greatest talent is being able to watch 5 years worth of a TV shows in one week.
I wouldn`t want lesbian parents. Not because I`m homophobic. I just don`t want to get stuck in an endless loop of "Go ask your mother."
My reaction to winning a billion dollars wouldn`t even come close to my 10 year old`s reaction when I told him that there`s no school today.
I have a stalker. Everywhere I go, she`s always there, 10 paces ahead of me...
The first rule of Women`s fight club is don`t tell anyone what you`re mad about or why you`re fighting.
Is it so much to ask that everyone who ever wronged me be forced to leave the country and change their identity?
Me: There has to be a way I can lose weight! Friend: Eat healthy? Exercise? Me: No, that`s not it. Keep thinking! We`ll figure this out.
I love talking about nothing. It’s the only thing I know anything about.
Well, today was a complete waste of clean clothes.
Considering this is the land of the free, stuff is pretty damn expensive.
My GF`s anti aging cream went bad ... How does anti aging cream have an expiration date?!
I`m starting a pay it backward campaign. When I get up to the drive through window I tell them that the car behind me is going to pay for it.