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By the power vested in me and by this case of beer, I now pronounce these three loads of laundry as one.
If you have a tattoo on your face, you`ve lost the right to ask me what I`m looking at.
I have a coffee table in my house. It`s decaffeinated but you would never know it by looking at it.
Just joined the support group Hokey Pokey Anonymous ... A place to turn yourself around. ;)
Best of luck explaining why you’re still single at Thanksgiving and Charles Manson isn’t.
I need a new refrigerator ... There`s no food in mine.
The only thing worse than sitting on a cold toilet seat is sitting on a warm one.
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper place mats with puzzles...GAME ON!!
"If your father asks you to pick up 5 large bags of ice, the best place to put them is in the backyard in direct sun" ~ My son apparently
Can`t believe people still say "pot" it`s not the 70s anymore we call it "saucepan" now
wants to jump in a cab and yell "follow that car!"
My status would be a lot funnier if you could see my back-up dancers.
You`re one of a kind! Thank goodness...
There should be a mercy rule for how many pics a girl can upload from her vacation.
It`s nice to feel wanted. Even if it`s by the FBI.