😄 Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

So what was the best thing before sliced bread?
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"We`re pregnant!" -people who don`t understand science
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As soon as the Zombie Apocalypse hits I`m grabbing a sledgehammer and heading down to the local cemetery for the greatest game of Whack-A-Mole ever.
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Explain to me the down side of being under house arrest.
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this website used to be full of funny statuses. Then the 8-year olds came in.
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Don`t forget to get offended today by some retarded sh!t that has absolutely no bearing on your life whatsoever.
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Whoever invented the 5 day work week and 2 day weekend can suck my a**!
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I don`t drink these days. I`m allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.
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If you have alphabet fridge magnets, and morals. You probably shouldn`t invite me over.
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*during sex,I suddenly stop moving* Her: What are you doing? Me: SHHHHH It`s ok...I saw this on Pornhub, It`s called Buffering!
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How can society expect me to be a mature productive member of it I don`t even know if it`s spelled gray or grey
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I drink coffee for your protection.
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Ask.com is useless............they have no idea where I put my car keys either
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Of all the people who "claim" not to give a sh!t, I`m pretty sure the guy standing barefoot in front of the urinal at the gym is the winner.
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Apparently the maximum number of times you can keep getting back in line for Communion wafers is 4.
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