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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Ambulance is spelled backwards on the front so when you look in your rearview mirror you don`t confuse it with the other giant siren cubes.
Last night my wife said to me, β€œWhat would you do without me?” Apparently, β€œYour sister” was the wrong answer.
I thought my name was "Stop encouraging him" until I was 11.
Is it just me, or do mirrors look really sexy?
Half the lies they tell about me aren`t true
Sure, I was walking home from the bar drunk, but I wasn`t even stumbling. My guess is, the cops just had it in for naked people.
Don’t be upset that you’re single; be happy that someone isn’t ruining your life.
I`m so broke right now that if someone tried to rob me, they`d just be practising..
I like to walk around my house naked… Until my neighbors scream at me to go back inside
I don`t care if its a scam! Just the fact that the Prince of Nigeria sends me personal email makes me feel special!
You`re telling me, a chicken fried this rice
Unplug the copier at work & put a sign on it that says β€œnow voice activated!” Sit back & watch the magic unfold.
"Hello 911?" "Someone just stole my status on Facebook... yes, I`ll hold."
I don’t understand why drunk me always seems to have more money than sober me.
Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn’t doing his part of the chores around here.