😄 Daily Silly Status
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If I won the lottery, I don`t think I would change much. I`d still be the same asshole, just one in a helicopter.
How come when a girl has sex with everyone she`s a slut but when a guy has sex with everyone he`s my boyfriend
I hope I never get to the age when my body can forecast the weather.
When I see people jogging outside I like to drive behind them slowly blasting Eye of the Tiger for motivation.
I`m running out of people I can tolerate!
im like the government: i spend money on things that aren`t important, and spend most of my time trying to explain to people why i need them.
I want someone to look at me the way I look at chocolate cake.
Having kids is like being at a press conference: "No, you can`t put the dog in the washer - next question." "No, you can`t really fly -next"
Thoughts of you make my demons nervous.
These spaghetti-o`s taste like I don`t get paid until tomorrow.
Fingerprints are proof that God doesn`t trust us
next time you`re at a movie point at the screen when a scene with extras are on and say to your buddy "look, there i am!" and see how many people look over at you in awe.
An important phone call is something that occurs when there`s no better excuse to ignore someone.
After lengthy reflection, I’ve concluded that having kids wasn’t worth the seven times my son took out the garbage for me.
hell yeah !!!! i was the lucky sperm !!!!!