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Today would be a great day to leave a note on a random car that says "I know what you did".
Dancing in the 70`s: I have absolutely no idea what I am pointing at
John has 35 candy bars. If John eats 27 of them what does he have? .... Diabetes. John has diabetes.
Lets be honest. Half of life is messing up and half is frantically trying to fix it.
Was going to watch the presidential inauguration today, but found something more interesting on a different channel. Watched "How cow farts affect the ozone layer" on The Science channel.
"Nothing is impossible." I disagree. I`m doing nothing right now... it`s totally possible.
Can everyone come to my funeral in FBI outfits, stand at the back & not say a word to my parents so they think I lived a cool double life.
The problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude about the problem.
A "Lifetime Movie" describes how long it felt when you were watching it.
I will never admit to my parents that I donβt believe in the Easter Bunny or Santa as long as I still get presents and candy.
I recently jumped on the back of my psychologist and started counting...1...2...3 and he was so suprised asking me what I was doing and I answered offendedly: "Well you`re the one who said I could always count on you !"
Hey,,,, I said I`d be there in 10 minutes... Quit calling me every half hour.
I`m just saying a sarcasm font could go a loooong way!
I`m not leaving here without some kind of balloon.
I prefer to think outside the box because things can get very dark inside it.