😄 Daily Silly Status
Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Remember, an easily stolen ADT security sign placed on your lawn is the first line of defense against crime.
I miss newspapers. It`s weird hitting a dog on the nose with an iPad
I like how flies rub their hands together like tiny criminals
My resolution for the New Year is to find more situations where it`s acceptable to wear a bathrobe out in public
Happy "Another excuse to drink" Day!
I use profanity, the way Picasso used a paint brush
If an officer asks “do you know why I pulled you over?” “Because it’s the only way to get girls to talk to you” is a bad answer, apparently
Whenever I weigh myself, I always subtract 10 pounds. I don`t think boobs, brains, and an ass this fabulous should count against me.
Why is it called "reading a book" and not paper view?
Brains are awesome! I wish everyone had one...
All my life I`ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.
I hate when I get to the office and there isn’t a smoking crater where the building is.
Running shoes? No, I don`t run. These are my "better hurry up the liquor store is about to close" shoes.
Save some time and just put your Taco Bell directly in the toilet.
Somewhere, right now.. One of my Facebook friends is already drunk!