😄 Daily Silly Status
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I`m not sure why they gave all these other people cars.
We can`t deny our basic human instincts, like automatically thinking we kind of already know how to play the harmonica whenever we hold one.
I`ve been building my own particle accelerator. Plan to create a boson particle. Explore the mysteries.....you know what? This is a lot of work. Think I`m just going to have a beer and play Call of Duty.
Santa must be the bravest man around. Who else would let a bunch of deer pull them around in a sleigh during hunting season?
I wonder how long I’d be on hold if my call wasn’t important to them...
For Sale. Old batteries, free of charge.
Don’t ask a girl where she wants to eat. Tell her to guess where you’re taking her to eat. Then take her to her first guess.
I opened a bottle of wine to let it breathe. It didn`t. So I gave it mouth to mouth.
My date just saved me tons of money by simply saying, "no, I don`t want to be your valentine and stop texting me!"
I`m off to get my beauty sleep. Yeah, I know...I`m already so beautiful you can`t stand it! I promise...a little more isn`t lethal...yet! ;) Goodnight!
What is Warm, Soft, Sticky and has a Hole in the middle? It`s a Fresh donut. I was way off on that one!
Be the best you can be, while being the worst that you`re able to get away with.
You think you love your family but suddenly there`s three of you and one remaining slice of pizza.
My memory foam has amnesia
Having kids puts a new perspective on life.