Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So tell me, does it hurt to be so full of sh!t?
I’ll call it a “smart phone” the day I yell, “Where’s my phone?!” and it answers, “I’m here! Under your covers!”
My phone just changed, `calendar` to `cake radar` and now I really wish I had that.
Alcohol. Because who really wants to remember last night?
If Trump wins I`m leaving the country. If Hillary wins I`m leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
I’m not stupid. I’m just too lazy to show how smart I am.
Life..it`s just an `F` in lie....
A lie is a great story that someone ruined with the truth.
It`s not cellulite, it`s my body`s way of saying "I`m sexy" ... in braille.
Good things come to those who wait. Better things come if you stop f*cking around and make sh!t happen.
It`s so expensive being a woman. I know because I have financed a few.
My "To Do" list today only had one entry: "Nothing". And it took me all day to finish it!
HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake.
Wouldn`t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 mins and come out wrinkle free and 2 sizes smaller...
Growing up teachers always told me there was no such thing as a stupid question. Eight years in retail has determined that was a lie.