😄 Daily Silly Status
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I can´t wait until Weight Watchers comes out with a beer.
Is it wrong to tell a knock knock joke to a homeless person ?
You guys know that there are things higher than kites, right?
NO, I didn`t say you WERE stupid. I said, you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it.
To be honest with you, I start all my lies with to be honest with you.
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place to have sex.
I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make 1 wool sweater. I didn`t even know they knew how to knit.
When my kids grow up, I’m going to their house to break their stuff, eat all their food, make a huge mess, say I’m bored & then just leave!
After 6 years, is it still all Bush`s fault or has it been reduced to "Unfortunate circumstances under no one`s control"?..............
I just want you to be happy…and maybe a little bit naked.
If she burns the bacon, she`s no good bro
OK. So I took the road less traveled. Now where the hell am I?
"YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE!?" I yell to my husband as I hand him the trash.
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
I was at the hospital earlier today and saw a cute girl with a cast on her leg. Naturally, my first thought was "Hey, this one can`t run away..."