😄 Daily Silly Status
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When I`m bored, nobody texts me. But as soon as I`m busy, BAM! ... still nobody texts me.
Life is basically trying to meet better people than the ones you currently know.
I haven`t slept for three days, because that would be too long
I`m all over that like a fat kid on a Smarty
I dance like people wish they weren`t watching.
I think I could be a farmer. Except for the dirt, waking up early, wearing overalls and planting crops. But I wouldn’t mind driving a tractor around.
"Grapey." -me after every wine at the wine-tasting
For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember… that’s where the knives are kept.
I`ve heard that men that are married live longer, but i`ve also heard that men that have sex live longer. Anybody know which one of them is true?
If Violets were Orange, poetry would be a lot more challenging.
I Hope I can make it through another season of disagreement over the pronunciation of pecan.
So long pants! See you Monday!
"We`d be rich if you just said one f*cking word" - me, drunk, talking to my dog
"Shit ton" is my favorite unit of measurement.
Women fall in love by what they hear. Men fall in love by what they see. That’s why most women wear makeup and most men lie.