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Playing Frisbee with a five year old is amazingly similar to just running after a Frisbee.
Just because you think it`s a bad idea doesn`t mean we won`t have a good time.
When pornstars get up to speak in front of a large group, do they picture people with their clothes on?
I often worry about the safety of my children ... Especially the one who is talking back right now.
The only thing worse than a male chauvinistic pig is a woman that won’t do as she is told
Every dog is a badass until you decide to vacuum.
Hey bill collectors, nice try, but I don`t even call back people I know.
I don’t know who decided that high heels were just for women but…GOOD CALL.
I am surprised Cheech and Chong have not filmed a new movie -"Cheech and Chong Smoke Colorado"
One of my female friend is reading a book called "Learn to drive in a week" for the last 3 years.
If adult diapers are called Depends, then baby diapers should be called Definitely!!
The Internet: where no one is afraid to say the first thing that pops into their head.
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
I`m not giving the kids a time out. I`m giving myself one. The thought of sitting in a corner & being ignored sounds just heavenly.
I often worry about the safety of my children, especially the one that is rolling their eyes at me & talking back right now.