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I wish I lived in a glass house, those people seem to have a lot of fun...
You know it`s time to clean your screen when you start confusing dirt with punctuation.
My gift horse is facing the wrong way
The good thing about being tall is, you can`t get lost in a crowd. The bad thing is, you can`t get lost in a crowd.
When I bust a move , it stays busted.
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.
The first rule of Women`s fight club is don`t tell anyone what you`re mad about or why you`re fighting.
I grew up living paycheck to paycheck. But through hard work and perseverance, I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.
I go out all day looking good and saw no one I know. I go out for 5 minutes looking like sh!t and it`s all of the sudden a f*cking reunion.
If someone tells you `I love you` but you don`t feel the same way and don`t wanna make it awkward just say `I love YouTube` really really fast :)
When ur mom Calls and u have a party at ur house you; shut up!! Answers phone you; hi mommy!
Just so you know, when you repeat what you just said I won`t be listening then either.
Alarm Clock(n): An evil device invented by Satan to disrupt the peaceful sleep of otherwise happy folks at a predetermined hour.
The fact that you don’t find me amazing doesn’t bother me at all, it just confirms what I have suspected all along; that you have bad taste.
Baby Polar Bear: Mommy, am I really a Polar Bear? Mother: Of course you are. Why? Baby Polar Bear: `Cause I`m fukcing freezing!"