😄 Daily Silly Status
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Sometimes I wish I was full of pizza instead of emotions.
Tomorrow the world shall be ours! Until then, good night my evil minions!!
Slut: desirable woman who has sex with someone other than yourself.
I knew you were coming so I baked a cake ... It was delicious.
I don`t know what I would do without you, but I bet it`s awesome.
The guy who invented wet t-shirt contests probably has no idea that shirts can just be taken off.
Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it’s strapped to the top of someone’s car.
When I was younger I thought I was bipolar. Turns out I was just an a$$hole who was happy about it.
My dog doesn`t always bark like there`s an intruder in the house, but when he does he waits until I`m home alone and in the shower.
Currently under the influence of cold and flu medicine...my actions can not be held against me!
My illusion of having the Force is crushed the minute the remote is slightly out of reach.
Friends don’t let friends twerk.
You might think you`re smart until you try using someone else`s microwave.
When I was growing up, I was taught to walk and talk and when I was grown, I was told to sit down and STFU!!!
I will kill you with kindness even if I have to beat the sh!t out of you.