Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wish someone would steal my identity, fix it and and give it back...
My fantasy is having two women at once...One Cooking, One Cleaning.
My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like I KNOW, RIGHT?
The male version of a tramp stamp should be called a douche tag.
Spoiler alert: I unplugged your fridge.
I think about hiring a maid way too often for someone who has plenty of time to clean.
Key to a great marriage ... Lack of imagination.
I’ve discovered, the easiest way to change a flat tire is by not wearing a bra.
The only person whom a woman listens carefully & follows sincerely & does exactly as he says is a photographer
I`m not funny, I`m just kidding u
My wife was so sick this morning that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast.
Scared the mailman today by going to the door completely naked. Not sure what scared him more, my naked body or that I knew where he lived.
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.
All I`m saying is there`s a reason all the best love songs have the word crazy in them.
So there`s a t.v. show called, It`s Me or the Dog?.. I was disappointed to find out its not a game show where people guess who farted