Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Vegetables are a must on my diet. I am eating Carrot cake, Zucchini bread and Pumpkin pie.
Much to my daughters horror, I just sang along to Ace of Base`s “The Sign” at full volume in a van full of her friends. Being a dad is fun!
that awkward moment when you`re scuba diving and you see Adele rolling in the deep.
It has been brought to my attention that those stick figure decals on vehicles are not "kill" scores, but actually suppose to represent members of the family. I will be removing all my decals to avoid any further confusion.
I’m just a man standing in front of a woman, who is standing in front of another man who is in front of another woman in line at Taco Bell.
I don`t care if you`re here to murder me - we take our shoes off in this house.
A garbage disposal is just a device for finishing off all the food no one else in the house will eat.
That awkward moment for a guy when he`s at a urinal stall and another guy takes the stall right next to him when there`s plenty of other perfectly good stalls farther away..
I relate to Game of Thrones because much like my own life, I have no idea what’s going on and there’s a lot of wine drinking.
Was disappointed when I watched the films Shaft, XXX, X-Men, In To Deep, Snatch, The Box, Free Willy. None of them were what I expected...
Neighbor said hi again. I`m just gonna move
For those who know nothing of how to satisfy a woman: The G spot is located at the end of the word shopping.
never tell a lie...unless it is true
Actually officer, I`d prefer to think that vodka smells like me.
My facebook has been rated PG for Poor Guy