😄 Daily Silly Status
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I’ve come to the realization that the trash goes out more than I do.
Tomorrow the world shall be ours! Until then, good night my evil minions!!
You say stalker. I say unpaid private investigator.
The only candy I crush are empty cold ones.
The sense of success when you’ve had something stuck between your teeth and you manage to free it after 25 mins of tactical tongue pressure.
This lasagna recipe has been handed down in my family for generations in the hopes that someone would eventually make it.
The last time anything got banged on my bed, it was my little toe against the leg.
The question isn’t who is going to let you; it’s who is going to stop you.
This morning I got in touch with my inner self. And that`s also the last time I`ll buy cheap toilet paper...
I bet the first person that heard a parrot talk really lost their sh!t.
I tried my best to see things from your point a view, but your point of view is stupid.
Is it "poon tang", or "poontang"? I`m trying to update my Christian Mingle profile.
If someone tells you “it’s better than sex” they’re not doing the sex right.
I`ve been hiding from exercise ... I`m in the fitness protection program.
Whenever I hear "let me tell you the truth", I secretly cross my fingers, hoping they say "brownies are healthy, eat as many as you want."