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Some days are just not meant to be productive.
Making an effort in the last of 2014 to cut away distractions so I can spend more time with my iPhone.
Know the rules well so you can break them effectively.
Whenever our neighbor`s dog is barking, I know there`s either someone at their door or literally anything else in the universe has happened.
The fastest way to get someone to call you back is to take a shower.
Thanks, resealable packaging, but I think we both know that won`t be necessary.
That awkward moment when the majority of people think your status is stupid.
Friends with benefits? What, like you can provide dental insurance?
I think sharks eat people just to be on tv.
Takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do ...
You`re the reason why I believe in condoms.
Are you supposed to wear the fanny pack over the gut or underneath it? I don`t want to look like a dork.
A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.
That one-day popularity on Facebook because it’s your birthday.
I never drink unless I am alone or with somebody.