😄 Daily Silly Status
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Dear food, Either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.
Dear automatic flushing toilet. I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn`t quite finished...
If you never jumped from couch to couch as kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood.
The easiest way to get over someone is with a steamroller.
Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades........... Wait till summer... Enjoy!
if I was a bird, I know who I´d poop on first.
Not quite feeling myself today. I`m going to see if booze helps...
Redneck Term Of Thee Day-Wisdom: "Mah bruther had him some kidney stones, but he wisdom out!"
Don`t judge me for things I did a few seconds ago, I`ve changed since then.
My favorite holiday spirit is poured over ice.
Smile. It makes people wonder what you´re up to.
Let’s all agree to stop saying “I read about it somewhere” and admit that we saw it on Law and Order.
I fear the day when our kids would look at old you tube videos of us doing the Harlem Shake and Gangnam Style and think what a retarded generation ours was.
At the young age of 5, a bear told me that I am the only person who can prevent forest fires. Why I was chosen, I’ll never know.
"I can`t wait to have you inside me," I whispered softly to my dinner.