Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes I speak in a different font but no one ever notices.
I’m just like everyone else: I put my straight jacket on one buckle at a time.
I stick pins and needles in the people I don`t like because can`t afford voodoo dolls.
Sometimes I like to play God and just ignore everyone when they talk to me.
Sometimes I find myself envious of how well Waldo can hide..
Freak people out in public restrooms by saying “come in” when they knock on the stall door.
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
Just watched The Grey. The wolves left half the Mexican .. to spicy??
I paid attention to the construction signs and got in the correct lane. You ignored them for miles and now you want me to let you in. Not gonna happen.
Hey guys,,, Which sounds better: No longer rabid?, Or rabies free since 2003?........ I`m trying to update my e-harmony profile
Alcohol doesn’t make you fat… it makes you Lean… on tables, chairs & random ugly people.
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper placemats with puzzles... game on!
The baby gets furious when I try to undress him. Must get that from his mother.
My mom told me to follow my dreams. So I took a nap.