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Good thing girls started uploading pictures next to a pool with the caption "Summer is finally here!" or we wouldn`t have known it`s summer.
Please either stop being so attractive or make out with me, it`s your choice.
I`m well on my way to getting absolutely nothing done today.
Why is it that everyone you hate has such a better job than you?
Gentlemen may not be extinct, but they are definitely endangered
Next time a stranger talks to me when I`m alone, I will look at them shocked and whisper quietly...."You can see me???"
Every time I walk into a singles bar, I can hear Mom`s wise words: "Don`t pick that up!! You don`t know where it`s been!!"
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.
I checked my calendar, and I won`t give a f*ck tomorrow either.
If you`ve had cats, the singles virus may already be inside you.
Girl Scout cookie season is scientifically timed to occur just as people are giving up on their New Year`s resolutions.
Dogs are great. You can count on them to alert you of danger...Also, children passing by, squirrels and gusts of wind they don`t like.
Home sounds like a nice place, until they say they`re going to put you in one.
If I`ve learned anything from the Kardashians it`s that I shouldn`t let my complete lack of talent hold me back.
A book fell on my head, I can only blame my shelf.