Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Save your little napkin, bartender. I don’t plan on having this drink long enough to set it down.
Money can`t buy happiness, but I`d rather cry in a Ferrari.
It`s never too late to follow your dreams. Unless your dream is to be a child actor, in which case yes, it`s too late.
Boobs, because you can`t motorboat a personality.
Kids eat free today? Nice... In that case, I`ll have a water and my son will have the steak and shrimp combo with a kids bud light.
Sneaking alcohol into work is pretty easy, if you put it in your stomach first.
I got BOMBED last night and decided to do my own taxes and guess what! I`m getting 4 million dollars back this year!
OK I`ve stumbled out of bed and made it to the computer- and another Facebook day begins!
I learned two important lessons today. I can`t remember the first lesson, but the second one is I have to start writing things down.
You know what is cheaper than therapy? ... Admitting you`re batshit crazy and running with it.
Sometimes I meet people and feel sorry for their dog.
I want to delete a bunch statuses, so if you guys could just message me your passwords that`d be great.
I just "borrowed" my neighbors nissan frontier, they make that trick look easier on the commercial
Long story short, I love summaries
A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women`s facial expressions. Main reason? They usually aren`t looking at her face.