😄 Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I just found out that checking your credit score actually LOWERS your credit rating. Seriously? That`s like every time you look in the mirror, you get a little bit uglier.
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Hair pulling during sex is hot ... unless the whole wig comes off.
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Sometimes it`s nice to know karma is still a feisty little b!tch.
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Crap, summer is here and I`m nowhere near in drinking shape yet.
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Whenever I see a really hot girl with an ugly guy, I think "klondike bar".
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only 9530 days until retirement.
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What do sleeping and sex have in common? I`m not getting nearly enough of either.
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One advantage of growing old is you don`t have to worry about hackers stealing your nude pics out of the cloud.
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My 2017 resolution is to stop thinking so much about the future.
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This police sketch artist has no idea that he`s about to draw me as the most bad ass Batman caricature ever.
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All true wisdom is found on T-Shirts.
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For those of you who know nothing about pleasing a woman... the G spot is located at the end of the word "shopping".....js
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The secret to enjoying good wine: Open to let it breathe. If it appears not to be breathing, apply mouth to mouth.
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They call them heated seats because rear defroster was already taken
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I dont run from my problems, I chase them ... with alcohol
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