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Oh and BTW,,, Why haven`t Pig Pen`s parents been visited by child services yet?
Yes, I know why you pulled me over. I didn`t see you in your little hiding spot over there, so I couldn`t slow down in time.
I may not have great parenting skills, but in my defense the kids don`t have great childing skills either.
Don`t sweat the small stuff. Don`t sweat the medium or large stuff either. Stop perspiring on everything. Take your sweaty a$$ elsewhere.
You know when you`re exercising and feel like you could keep going and going? That`s happening to me, only with beer.
Well, the people outside are frightful.
This donut scented car freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
There is no angry way to say `bubbles.`
Time to clean the house. Good thing I took that delegation class at work and I have 2 kids. This is going to be fun
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
I`m just looking for a reason not to drink
If you`re going to walk a mile in my shoes, could you pick me up some booze on your way back?
I fear the day when our kids would look at old you tube videos of us doing the Harlem Shake and Gangnam Style and think what a retarded generation ours was.
You don`t need to use your words if you`re carrying a machete. People just seem to figure it out.
My local news station says it gives us " news when it breaks " ...I want unbroken news!!