Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
3 things I will never understand: 1. The meaning of life. 2. The universe. 3. How Spongebob & Patrick made those sounds effects in that box.
I`d rather run into the four horsemen of the apocalypse than a group of women out on a "girls` night."
Ya, Wednesday sucks but… it could be Monday!
I wish some people`s cardio exercise consisted of running into traffic.
So after vacuuming with the new Dyson, I`m pleasantly surprised to learn that the carpet upstairs is actually hardwood.
I wonder who the first person was to look at a beehive and think, "those bastards are hiding something delicious in there, I know it!"
Today is National I Don`t Feel Like Doing Sh!t Day. Celebrate accordingly.
Today’s Horoscope: You’re gullible
Stress balls work best when you shove them down somebody`s throat.
I`m so bitchy right now ... I won`t even talk to myself!!
This status update contains many of the same words that appear on Pulitzer Prize winning novels.
I had my Crayola guy re-run the numbers,,, and there`s only 36 shades of grey
If your father is poor, Its your fate, but if your father-in-law is poor, then its your fault!
According to my current parking spot I`m a physician.
is wondering if the hokey pokey is really what it´s all about