😄 Daily Silly Status
Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
you know....I must be drop dead sexy because....cashiers are always checking me out….
Doctor told me I only have 6 months to live, maybe 12 if I get enough likes on Facebook.
If you give me a phone number or directions while I`m on the phone with you, just know that I`m using my very best finger pen and air paper.
"Good for you!" means, "I do not consider you a threat" in woman-speak.
Every year new words are added onto the dictionary, yet no new positions are added to the karma sutra.
I read an article the other day that said, "if you drink every day you are an alcoholic." Thank god I only drink at night.
I wonder if the psycho hitchhiker ever gets picked up by the psycho driver. Now there`s a movie I`d pay to see.
My online dating profile is just a picture of my ex-wife and the words "NOT THIS."
One time I was in a bar and there was this really weird guy pouring booze all over his hand. Turned out he was trying to get his date drunk
Cats don`t come with instructions, so how is anyone supposed to know you can`t put them in the washing machine.
New Life Goal: Get a job where people ask me, "You actually get paid for doing this?"
I`ve just finished doing my hair, want to come over and mess it all up?
To avoid being eaten by Zombies go to "settings", "public", and uncheck the box that says "Facebook users taste like chicken"
I just ate some generic Frosted Flakes.... They"rrrrreeee alright.
i made a chicken salad the other day. little bastard didn`t even eat it.