😄 Daily Silly Status
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If my statuses had a smell.. they would smell funny
Turning your signal light on once you`ve already changed lanes is just about as useful as offering to help the old lady across the street AFTER she`s already been hit by a school bus full of screaming children. Just sayin`
Pretty fed up with the fact that pandemonium almost NEVER involves pandas.
Boss: Are you high? Me: You and I both know that I don`t make enough money to have a drug habit.
Silence is Golden, except when coming from children… Then you’d better go check to see what’s broken.
At what point in potty training do you give the child a toy smartphone?
I made a chicken salad today... The little bastard didn`t even eat it.
Don`t give me a sec, give me lots of secs.
Candy canes are the perfect treat. They are minty & put you into the holiday spirit & can easily be fashioned into a shank.
If my psychiatrist said "There`s really nothing more I can do for you", that means I`m cured right??
Next time a guy asks for your number, write it down in Roman numerals. If he manages to call you, he`s a keeper.
How am I supposed to get any work done with all this work I have to do?
Monday: A terrible way to spend 1/7 of your life.
I`ve got a lot to unlearn.
Can you LIKE this status with your elbow? (no cheating)