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Ah Friday my second favorite F Word
condoms prevent minivans
Those friends who like and at the same time unlike my statuses please you`re increasing my blood pressure!
FYI: Taking permanent marker and writting Aeropostale on Fruit of the Loom tee shirts will NOT fool your teenager.
I would call my fashion style: “clothes that still fit.”
FACT: Candy corn is made out of melted down traffic cones.
My friend told me he wants to be a secret agent. Based on that alone, I don`t think he`d be a good secret agent.
The heat index is somewhere between OMG and WTF!
This Christmas, if you plan on jingling, please jingle ALL the way. Nobody likes or respects a half a$$ jingler.
My career plans were much more exciting when I was 5
For just 3 cents a day, all of my followers can help me quit my job...
I can`t help but smile when I see a woman wearing a Supertramp Concert t-shirt
Your clothes are making me extremely uncomfortable. Please, take them off.
When I see somebody get on one knee tying their shoe in public I get in front of them, happy cry, and say “Oh my GOD, I will, YES-YESS!”
If something rolls off of my plate... I eat it first, as punishment for trying to run away.