😄 Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

To all the people who think they don`t need deodorant: What in the world would make you think that?
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You guys ever trip out on the fact that Indian people eat Indian food for breakfast?
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A pessimist thinks that all women are sluts. An optimist hopes that they are.
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I beat my chess opponent in less than five moves with the chair I was sitting on!
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Why is it that the most interesting things in life usually aren`t in our best interest?
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Sometimes I really want to throw paper at people. Brick shaped Paper. Made of brick.
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I`m gonna name my son Wussell so people think he has a speech impediment.
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I want to know what horrific ideas were rejected before they decided "Vagisil" was the best possible brand name?
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Just ONCE I`d like someone to call me "sir" without adding "this is a place of business, please put your pants back on."
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ever notice that on a phone the word "mom" is 666?
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My wife and I have been happily married for two years. 1997 & 2004
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I wouldn`t mind all the penis enlargement emails if they weren`t coming from my wife.
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Being a Zombie doesn`t sound that bad. You don`t have a job and your entire day is spent looking for things to eat. Shit, I do that now.
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My last relationship was almost as complicated as the knot my pocket created with my headphones.
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Subway only exists because we`re all too damn lazy to throw a sandwich together. "Could you lay meat on that bread for me? Here`s $8."
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