Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There`s no better reminder to visit your dentist than a trip to Walmart.
If life Sucks, what makes you think death doesn`t Blow??
Think before you yell at your kids. They are the ones who might have to bring you toilet paper in 20 minutes.
Being skinny might be nice, but having pizza is nicer.
Tip of the day: When the cop asks you if you had anything to drink in the last 24 hours, do NOT ask them for the time... trust me
You look in good shape!!! Round is a shape isn`t it???
When you buy Halloween candy to hand out as an adult, it`s like you are paying for all the free candy you got when you were a kid.
My theory: Every squirrel you see is currently on a dare from another squirrel
"2, 4, 6, 8!! Ride my face let`s fornicate!!!" And with that, HR banished me from all future employee picnics.
The Kids today just don`t appreciate the colors and flavors of Dial soap like I do
When you`re a kid, dick jokes are considered adult content, but when you`re an adult, they`re considered immature.
That awkward moment when kids see a toy they want on TV but the can`t get it because their parents must be 18 or older.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering.
Show some cleavage on bad hair days.
The plans I make after work are in direct proportion to how much charge I have left in my phone battery.