😄 Daily Silly Status
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"I`d hit that" -old people who drive
I bet my road rage would be taken more seriously if I spoke German
Saw a guy with flames tattooed all over his face. I hope someday he finds a girl who has marshmallows tattooed all over hers.
WEB MD should have a simple answer like “Calm down-you probably just ate too many cookies!”
Why is it when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a deserted island?" , no one ever replies, "A BOAT"
Every day can be Friday if you`re really irresponsible.
Mom said angels are watching over me. I`m just afraid they`re taking notes to make sure I go to hell.
Today my role will be played by an overworked, under caffeinated, sarcastic, unstable, asshole. Consider this my disclaimer for the day.
If tomatoes are a fruit, then ketchup is a smoothie.
Jehovah`s witnesses would probably be welcomed into more houses if they brought booze or cookies.
Tomorrow I`m going to start using big words to sound smart....Sorry, I meant utilizing gargantuan idioms to simulate intelligence
Technically, if you don`t cut the cake, it`s still just one slice.
This would be a lot more fun drunk - Me, to everything.
Some people wonder why I never like or comment on their posts. It’s because I unfollowed you a long time ago.
All I`m saying is there`s a reason all the best love songs have the word crazy in them.