😄 Daily Silly Status
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You`d think my boss would know me by now and stop asking me everyday if I`ve been drinking.
Instead of exes, they should be called whys.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
Dracula had impeccable hair for a guy who couldn’t see himself in a mirror.
I`d like to eat healthy, but we all know what happened that time Eve ate an apple. Best not to risk it.
I`m kinda like an onion, not in some deep I have layers way, but if you see me naked, you`ll cry.
You know what`s the best part about waking up early? Nothing, it sucks!
You don`t have to dress like you`re a handbag, unless you are Lady Gaga.
I`m thinking about starting a vegetarian dance club... I`m going to call it "lettuce turnip the beets". What do you think?
My son said he went potty and I asked if it was number one or number two. He said number 7,,, and now I`m terrified to go into the bathroom.
I believe in the silver rule of life: Do unto others then run!
If a cannibal ate a comedian, that would lead to some funny sh!t.
If you cry loudly enough, your boss will usually let you go home.
Are you really sorry or are you just Charlie Sheen sorry?
One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.