😄 Daily Silly Status
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I only say “bless you” twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume you cant be blessed and you’re a demon who must be destroyed.
Tonight I plan on drinking until I`m someone else`s problem
Whenever a little kid asks me to push him on the swing I remind him there are children his age in China making iPhones.
How many facebook friends do you have that if they posted "I`m depressed and on the edge", your first thought would be to poke them?
Best pickup line : wanna get pizza?
Relationships are like bathrooms. I`m in them a lot longer than I need to be, probably cause I`m playing on my phone the whole time.
m for Monday t for Tuesday wtf Wednesday Thursday Friday get it wtf
Shouldn`t the Air and Space museum be empty?
The pharmacist asked me my birthday again today. Pretty sure she`s going to get me something.
Relationships are like just-out-of-the-oven pizza. You know it`s going to burn you, but it looks so good and maybe this time it won`t?
It`s damn funny when a wife think`s she`s punishing her husband by not talking to him for days..
I think I speak for everyone here when I say "I haven`t the slightest idea as to where my life is headed"
12 year olds having sex ? Im sorry when i was 12 i was to afraid to pull my foreskin back incase my d*ck fell out.
I was just watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury.. No worries, I should be okay in a couple of days..
Well it`s almost time for that " New Year -- New Me " bullsh_t again!