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I smile when I`m having dirty thoughts :)
When I was young I dreamed of saving the world, now I just dream of making through each month.
Helpful Tip: Always remember to speak clearly when complimenting a woman`s boots...
Nice try, blocked number but I don`t even answer the phone for people I know.
Go through a fast food drive thru. When they repeat your order back to you, say "And can I get that to go?" and enjoy the confused silence.
Whoever said, "All men are created equal", has obviously never been to a nude beach
Why can`t the ice cream man just get a freakin liquor license already
I could of sworn my pillow`s a hairdreeser...coz I always wake up with the craziest hairstyles!! :D
A man typed in search box on Google : “What do women want?”. Google Replied : “We are also searching…”
Is it just me or do mirrors look really sexy?
10 Easy Steps to Learn Binary: 1) There are 1`s and 0`s 10) There are no 2`s
I think I might be bisexual. Because last night I had sex by myself.
Family and Friends - I am FAR too busy to listen to any of your problems or concerns *Googles do penguins go to heaven?*
Politeness has become so rare, that some people mistake it for flirting.