πŸ˜„ Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

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My wife even says "NO" in her sleep. The force is strong with this one.
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I may not be the smartest guy in the world, or the richest guy in the world, or the best-looking guy in the world, but,....Oh,hell. Now I`m depressed.
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The parent-teacher conference is going great. They have no idea I’m not the teacher.
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DO NOT LIKE THIS… Unless you’re a sexy beast.
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Why do people ask β€œWhat the hell were you thinking?” Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain it.
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The worst thing about rich people is I`m not one of them.
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People who make really bad decisions are always like "I have the worst luck"
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I bet people don’t understand that I’m joking 800% of the time.
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It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much shit to carry.
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I`m laying on my yoga mat making up fake poses to fit my current activity level. Right now I`m in "downward facing chalk outline".
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I haven’t lived paycheck to paycheck since my last paycheck.
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You know what’s funny? Lots of sh!t so lighten the f*ck up.
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It kinda makes sense that the target audience for fidget spinners lost interest in them so quickly
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I`ve been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants. Feefiphobia.
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