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My internet went down for about 5 minutes earlier....so I talked to my family.....they seem like nice people!
People who help you find what you are looking for in a liquor store should be called "Spirit Guides."
So what the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Their house paint is peeling.
If you never used that plastic thing that keeps pizza from sticking to the box lid as GI Joe`s poker table you`re too mature for me.
Iām exhausted just thinking of everything I have to do.
I get more excited seeing my luggage on a baggage carousel than I do seeing a person I know.
Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone again for the first time?
I`ve never literally been tortured but I have walked behind old people when I was in a hurry.
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.
If you watch Jurassic Park backwards, it`s an uplifting film about dinosaurs and people who work together to rebuild an island.
Working in retail has taught me that the customer is always right. At least while they`re in earshot...
It`s funny how things change when you get older. It seems like just yesterday I would spend my evenings on the front porch and treat myself to some killer weed. Now I spend my
Getting told I can`t do something gives me all the motivation I need to get things done.
People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world...
If only there was a way to voice a highly uneducated opinion to thousands of people on a regular basis