😄 Daily Silly Status
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Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you`re in.
I put mirrors on the ceiling because I like to see how I look when I`m eating pizza alone.
Still waiting for a "Where are they now?" episode about the Flintstones
A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind
My phone battery lasts longer than relationships these days
Honestly, I`m so awesome that I wish I could meet myself and get my own autograph.
Can someone`s face be a pet peeve?
Hey, does anyone know which side you`re supposed to wear your fanny pack on? I want to really nail this job interview tomorrow.
My lucks so bad if I bought a cemetery people would stop dying.
"2, 4, 6, 8!! Ride my face let`s fornicate!!!" And with that, HR banished me from all future employee picnics.
Be nice to nerds. You`ll probably be working for them one day
Spoiler alert: Your `97 Nissan Sentra doesn`t need one.
Pocketwatches were replaced by wristwatches, which became digitalwatches, which were replaced by mobile phones. Which we keep in our pockets
It’s getting really annoying how eating makes you gain weight..
I`m the type of person who goes out to a restaurant and orders a veggie burger with cheese and bacon on it.