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Drunk me loves creating awkward encounters for sober me.
Practice safe text – use commas and never miss a period.
Some things are better left unsaid...That`s usually the stuff I blurt out right away.
It`s weird how Dora is multilingual at 4 but can`t find the banana tree behind her...
My friends most commonly describe me as "who?"
When I see names carved into a tree I don’t think it’s cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date.
My friends and I played fantasy football in high-school. No league, we just constantly thought about the cheerleaders.
My doctor is getting really tired of me asking if the stuff I see in commercials is right for me.
Not every flower can say love...but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst...but a cactus did. Not every idiot can read, but look at you go!!!! lol
The ideal man doesn`t smoke, doesn`t drink, doesn`t do drugs, doesn`t swear, doesn`t get angry, doesn`t exist
The first rule of the OCD Club is to have a second rule so there is an even number of rules.
How many decades of knowing someone before it`s rude to ask what their name is?
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole
Karma may "work" but I think that bitch takes a lot of days off
Sorry I mixed 50,000 instant pudding packets into your above ground pool