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What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin (asking for a friend)
The only thing worse than "the one who got away" is "the one who won`t go away."
I`m getting sick of seeing all these lyric status`s, it reminds me of somebody that I used to know.
Nothing is quite so annoying as to have someone go right on talking when you`re interrupting!
There is no peer pressure like washing your hands because someone else walked into the bathroom.
Know your customer. Think like an idiot.
At this point Washington DC is basically just an elaborate promotional stunt for Grand Theft Auto V.
St Patricks Day, when you can eat lucky charms dowsed in beer and everyone thinks..great idea!
Dreams are like pictures. I don`t care about yours unless I`m in them.
From 8am until 12pm, my job basically pays me to think about what I am going to have for lunch
Don`t let this historic Cubs World Series win distract you from the fact that Donkey never made Shrek those waffles he promised to make.
Happy 15th birthday google, 3 more years and you will be able to search for adult sites legally
Let’s be the generation that stops putting things in our butts and having to go to the emergency room to get them taken out, shall we?
Turns out having boobs only gets you stuff if you don`t have a penis as well.
So there`s a t.v. show called, It`s Me or the Dog?.. I was disappointed to find out its not a game show where people guess who farted