😄 Daily Silly Status
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Ever since I heard that women have one breast bigger than the other, it`s given me another reason to stare.
A good lawyer knows the law. An excellent one knows the judge.
Who else`s favorite Spring time game is "Guess how deep that pothole really is."
FACT: If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.
I had to defrost the fridge last night before bed. Or foreplay, as she calls it.
I hate when people post lyrics from songs, but I will survive.
Is everything expensive or am I just poor?
I`m putting more thought into my Halloween costume than into my job.
Sometimes at the gym I`ll struggle and make all kinds of awkward grunting sounds, but eventually I`ll get my shorts on.
To be honest, I´m just fishing for compliments tonight.
You know the best side effect of losing weight? Supersonic hearing. I can hear the crinkle of a candy wrapper or bag of chips through walls.
A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up along side them and say "I think we lost them."
I just called to get my credit score and I heard laughing in the background. Sounds like a cool place to work.
This would be a lot more fun drunk - Me, to everything.
I don`t drink to feel better about myself. I drink to feel better about being with you