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whats the difference between a dog and a fox????? six shots
If the planet is 4 billion plus yrs old. Is 2017 really the correct new year.
Just saw that my wife was googling ballroom dancing lessons and now I`m hoping that she`s having an affair.
Dear grumpy people: donuts are only $.99
Watching movies alone sucks. There´s no one to ask, "What did he just say? Who is that guy?"
I leave notes on people’s windshields telling them I smashed their car and did an amazing job fixing it.
Women have all the answers, to all of your questions, and you don`t even have to ask.
Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
I don`t like country music, but I don`t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means `put down`.
Why do people ask "what the hell were you thinking"? Obviously, I was thinking I was gonna get away with it and not have to explain it.
He who laughs first, must be connected to wi-fi.
If turning alcohol into bad decisions ever becomes an Olympic event, I`m bringin` home the Gold! USA! USA!
I`m going to become a hermit as soon as I find a cave with a decent wifi connection.
All I’m saying is, you’ve never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time.
The most impressive thing about marathon runners is how they don’t check their phone for 3 hours.