😄 Daily Silly Status

I wish my mind had a delete button.

The face jewelry is getting out of hand. I saw a guy today that looked like he had done a face plant in a tackle box.

I do whatever the little voices tell me to do.

I hate to choose sides, but if forced, I`ll aggressively side with the person paying my bar tab.

This lasagna recipe has been handed down in my family for generations in the hopes that someone would eventually make it.

I think I like mornings best when they start in the afternoon.

Remember when AT&T told you to "reach out and touch someone" and you ended up with that restraining order? ... Good times!

I dreamt that was dreaming, and then someone woke me up and told me I was dreaming but it turned out I had only dreamed that so I went back to sleep in my dream, all upset that my dream that I was dreaming was interrupted by another dream....hahahahaha.....whoa, need to lay off the Red Bull.

Google image results are like a party that starts off exactly how you expected and gets weirder the longer you stay.

Marriage counseling - because sometimes your spouse needs to hear from a professional that they are being an a$$

Legalizing same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage.

Dear Dr Phil, I was watching my next door neighbor`s wife sunbathing topless from my bedroom window. As I was enjoying myself I turned to notice my lady was just standing there, arms folded...watching me. Is she a pervert?

All a girl wants is a guy that can make her laugh ... and not just when he drops his pants.

I love facebook because it helps me remember what I did the night before when I blacked out.

I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?