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Most people decide to have scramble eggs immediately after thinking: "I`ll just flip this omelette"
I am looking at this online special deal at Disneyworld and thinking no, my kids can annoy me just fine right here at home.
the difference between people and celebreties ...... celebreties don`t have a routine
You never hear skinny people saying, "I`m just small boned."
Billion Dollar Idea: An app that deletes your phone number from other people`s phones.
I would eat a lot more salads if they were made out of pizza.
I`d like to have a child one day...Two days, tops.
Even when Iām home alone, I still answer Jeopardy questions out loud.
drinking 2% milk, wondering what the other 98% is...
Serving size ?? LMAO
Never take advice from people on the Internet. Not even this.
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)
R.I.P. 2013 (2013-2013)
Turns out a crash diet doesn`t mean having vodka with every meal and falling down the stairs!
I went frisbee golfing today. I didn`t get an ace, but I did hit a guy and that was just as satisfying.