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I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butts.
I am starting to think I will never be old enough to know better.
"Karate" is an old Japanese word that means, "My kid can`t hit a baseball."
Whatever it is ... I didn´t do it!
My right thumb is in the best shape of my life.
Obesity: When you buy a hula-hoop and it fits you.
A guy at work calls me "Partner" and another guy calls me "Chief". Apparently we`re playing Cowboys and Indians and I`m a double agent.
I will be responsible for my actions when my actions become more responsible.
if your looking for love sorry to disappoint you im already in a relationship with fun and freedom. :-)
As I rise from my slumber the children scream in horror, as they did not know I was in the McDonald`s Playland ball pit
Kids today will never appreciate how difficult it used to be finding pictures of naked people.
popsicle sticks: $1. caramel: $3. onion: $1. watching ur kid bite into a caramel onion thinking its an apple: priceless.
There are no words to describe how I feel about you... Good thing God invented the middle finger.
I like to finish other people’s sentences because my version is better.
I thought I cracked this "adulthood" till I realised my shirt was on inside out !!!!!