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My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the a$$holes asked me to turn it down.
The ceiling fan DOES NOT make a good lettuce shredder....
Nice try Jehovah’s Witnesses but dressing up like cops and telling me you have a warrant is not going to get me to open my door.
Maybe the reason Uncle Phil hated Will was because the first thing Will gave him was a $3700 cab ride bill from Philly to Bel-Air.
I thought I wanted to get married again. Then I laughed and remembered why I shouldn`t think.
My definition of" Armed and Dangerous" is: a pissed off wife with a bottle of wine, and the credit cards.
I`m not saying your house is haunted, but I think a ghost just ate all of your Gummy Bears while you were in the bathroom.
Soup of the day: Tequila.
“Grandbrother” sounds much cooler than uncle.
Sometimes it`s fun to make fun of yourself. Almost as fun as it is to make fun of others.
It`s time for all of us to admit the "endorphin rush" you get after exercise is just an overwhelming sense of relief it`s over
your status deserves a standing ovation but I`m lazy I`ll just click `like`
I hate getting paid and being broke all in the same day!! :(
Facebook should have a limit on times you can update your relationship status, after 3 it should default to "unstable".
How many exercise/workout videos does a person have to buy before seeing results?