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Sugar` is the only word in English that starts with `su` and sounds like `sh`. I`m sure of it.
Yoga pants are just push up bras for your butt.
I should be able to take a sick day if I am sick of the people I work with.
No pants are the best pants.
I walked into SeaWorld with a fishing pole once. I gotta tell ya, those security guards can really run.
I really would like to take a yoga class. But I really can`t trust my farts.
Relationships, Marriages, work and children are what keep alcohol companies in business.
There is a method to my madness….and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable
Any person can be nice to my face, but it takes a real friend to be nice behind my back.
Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he’ll probably be like, “Hey, remember when you used to just give me fish?”
I`d rather SH!T in my hands and clap!
You`re pretty cocky for someone with such a small ... vocabulary.
Defies physics: I eat half a pound of food, `purge` 1 pound of it, and then gain five pounds because of it-- WTF?
When people introduce themselves to me for the first time, I tell them, "Yes, we`ve met before." So they feel awkward trying to remember me
Whoever made up the saying "It`s the thought that counts" never got a pair of crocs for Christmas.